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Bonding or Burden

7th Nov 2009, the first time, I got an opportunity to visit San Francisco, United States of America, for a client visit. It was a great opportunity for me because that was the first county, which opened new opportunities in my career, and later I visited approximately twenty-seven countries in a row.

One thing was common in all the people of those countries, everybody ready to say “Thanks” and “Sorry”. I was surprised that did they really mean it? Yes, they were. Whenever they realize somebody has done something good for them, or you can say, in their feeling, it was out of the way and generally, people don’t to that, they never take a moment to say “Thank You”. And if they feel they have done something wrong intentionally or unintentionally, they say “Sorry”, immediately.

I remember in my teenage, I boarded in a DTC bus, (Delhi Transport), and got one seat easily because that route was not a busy route. Suddenly I saw that at the next stop there was a huge crowd on-boarded. Everybody got a seat easily, except for one young girl. When I saw nobody is offering a seat to her, I offered my seat to her. She smiled and seated quietly.

But to my surprise, on that bus, everybody started laughing. I was from a different city and I always learned one thing from my culture that if possible, help always to a lady, children or a weak person. So, this act was not new to me. But in Delhi, why it was different? I could not understand the reason for a laugh, but this memory was still alive with me. Till today I could not figure out the genuine reason, whey they laughed.

When our previous Prime Minister of India, Mr. Manmohan Singh came from a trip to a foreign country, he got an opportunity to deliver a speech immediately after his arrival. He said, “I could not understand when Indians are in India, they never use these two words “Thank you” and “Sorry”, but when the same persons are in a foreign county, they use these words frequently”.

It is a very famous saying that there is no “Sorry” and “Thank you” among friends. It may be correct up to some extent only, but how can you leave your culture, your upbringing, your sacrament. I think the people of the entire world is our friend, till then they do not show that they don’t. Does it mean that we will not use these words to the people of the entire world? Not true. No way. If we feel gratitude or pain, these words come out automatically from our heart and this touches others’ hearts also. In my observation, In foreign countries, these two words are frequently used among friends also, why our country is exceptional? Do we really love each other up to this extent, where the sky is the limit? Where these words become useless or senseless.

Your first best friend is your Mother. Do you think you recognize her effort to make your day-to-day life easy? I am sure, so far you have never think of it. Lets us visualize again for all of your family members. Try to remember their sacrifices. I am sure, you are taking all of them granted. because if we did not develop this habit in our life, it seems to us, these acts come in their duty to do that. And our thinking is “What if they are doing”? We will talk further on this in our next blog.

This is my experience, if we use these two words with everyone including strangers, they feel closer, they feel more affinity.

The entire world will say that Open and Close are opposite words, but in real life, we feel close only to those whom we are open with. Or you can say, we open only with those, to whom we are close. True?

This is my feeling that the entire world learned divine knowledge from Indian, it is our heritage. But actually, we forget it. The intruders invaded our country took this knowledge from us, they are using it frequently and we feel ashamed to use this.

Why we take it casual? Because generally when we feel, we are not getting expected response from the opposite side, we become tortoise and if it is reverse we become the fastest runner rabbit.

A few weeks back, it was Saturday, a holiday, somebody visited my office and he was looking for some deal. I saw him, very perplexed because the receptionist was not well trained. He was looking to me for help. I asked him, “Can I help you”? He told, “My name is Ravi, I am here for a deal” and then he asked a lot of questions about the deal, but even though I was not the right person, I tried to give all the answers patiently and completed one tour with him for the entire office. He promised to come back on the coming Monday. After one month he came with his CFO & CTO and the deal was done.

The same day, I was sitting in my usual place in the office, when I have seen someone is standing nearby and staring at me. I moved my face toward him, he extended his greetings and introduced himself by making me remember, about his first meeting with me on that Saturday. Frankly speaking, I was completely forgotten about that meeting. Even then when he was asking me ‘Do you recognize me?” I could not.

He called his superiors who were CFO in his organization and introduced me and told him that he was a person whom I met first. Then he introduced me to CTO of that organization. A beautiful bonding generated within some minutes. I simply asked him, “How did you remember me”?

He smiled and told me, “Initially, I thought, you are the main person, whom I need to deal with. but later when I came to know that you are not part of this organization, even then you given your time and patiently given all the answers to my queries”. He said, “Fifty percent of the deal was completed on the day itself, your gesture works for me”. Further, he added, “When you help me to get the elevator, your last two words “Thank You”, made the final deal on that day itself”.

I helped him selflessly, this made day for both of us. I believe, this is nothing to do with that how you got your upbringing, it is something, we need to learn from our school and society. I got these gestures from my parents and my friend circle who practice Indian culture in their practical life.

Multiple times we have seen the photographs shared on social media that foreign doctors bowing their heads in front of the body of the patient who donates their organs after death. Do you really think it works? Well, you can say that a person who left the world, don’t know what respect he is getting after that, then what is the use of it?

Well, think again, actually, they are not giving any tribute to the body of the person, who is no more, they are paying respect to his or her soul. They are paying respect to his or her wish of “Donation”. As well as they are also setting up an example for the next generation.

Don’t you think, we always have a habit to complain, but if we started thinking that what we already have or given by GOD, then we will start thankfully.

8 November 2016, the date is recorded in Indian economics history, the day of demonetization. I am not going to discuss here the merit or demerit or consequences of this event. But I remember one thing that people started saying “In the previous government, everyone is telling one statement that “We do not have anything. And after demonetization Mr. Prime Minister Narendra Modi government made everybody realized that they have a lot of things, now learn the tricks on how to conceal this from the government”. But this joke was really pointing to one important point of our life, and that was “Instead of always complaining. Be thankful for what you have”.

Once a person used to visit the nearby temple for his daily prayers. Every day he used to complain to GOD, that you have not given anything to me. What is the use of his life, if you have not given me a job, I do not have family, I do not have money to survive?

The priest of the temple was very wise. He planned to talk to him. The next day, when he came to the temple, the priest called him and told there is a patient struggling for life, in a hospital and he needs kidney transplantation. Please accompany me to the hospital for a test, if it matches, they will give you a lot of money. That person furiously shouted, “It is not for sale”. Next day again the priest told him that this time the price offer is double, whatever a figure, you have in mind. In no time, that person started cursing to the priest. That was the time, when the priest given him divine knowledge that he should start calculating the price for each and every organ of his body, he could understand easily how much rich he is today. It was an eye-opener for the person.

Not for that person, this is an eye-opener for all of us, who daily curse to themselves and their lives. Besides our body, organ, life, GOD has provided natural resources to use, and that is free of cost, GOD has provided fresh air, which is essential to living, that is also free of cost, GOD has provided water, mandatory to live life, and again this is free of cost. GOD has provided earth to live, and again this is free of cost. etc. tec. etc. Well, start calculating and ask yourself, what if GOD suddenly visible to you and start asking rent for all of those. Any answer?

A child was asking for new shoes, but the father was trying to convince him, that it is impossible for him to purchase this month because the entire salary has been consumed. But the child was adamant. Then the father convinced him to go to school today, in the evening he will try to get a loan from his friend and will able to purchase it.

In the same evening, the father offers his child to visit the market to purchase shoes. But to his surprise child was not ready to go. The child refused to go. After repeatedly requested, the child told that today while returning from school, he saw a child, who does not have his legs. then only he realized that at least GOD has given him beautiful legs, so he can wear shoes, but what if it would not have been. He understands at least he should thankful to GOD, what he has instead of a complaint about what he does not have.

Bring these two words in day-to-day practice. Thanks & Sorry these two words have magic in itself. It will definitely make your life easy and build a strong bonding, which works forever. The burden will become bonding for sure.

Thanks for reading. Send your reviews as usual. I will reply as soon a possible.

Best Regards and take care of you, yourself, family, friends and near and dear ones.

Bye-bye.

Neeraj Bhatia

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