Trust builts slowly but destroys quickly

A famous saint used to live his livelihood by weaving cloths. He has to work many days and nights to prepare one sheet of cloth. Everybody knows that whatever the situation maybe he will not get angry. He was famous to analyze the situation find the problem and then try to find the solution.

One day a mischevious person bet among his friends and took up a challenge. He told all of his friends, “Today I will show you, how fake he is and how he will get angry today?”

When the saint reached to market, that person immediately approached him and started asking price of the full sheet of cloth. The saint told him the price, but that person insisted, “I want to see the whole sheet before purchasing”. One of the pupils accompanying with the saint, open the sheet of the cloth. That person asked for a pair of scissors and started cutting the cloth into two-part, then again he asked,” What is the price now?”.

The saint immediately understood his intentions but replied calmly the half of the price.  That person immediately picked up the pair of scissors and tore the cloth again into two parts. And again asked for the price. The saint smiled and told him again half of the price from the previous price. That person again picked up the pair of scissors and again started doing the same process.

The pupil was surprised to see that the buyer was tearing his sheet of cloth again and again into half, without the intention of purchasing and the saint was smiling and was telling him price every time. When the process completed and now there was no scope left to tear off the cloth one more time in half, that person stood up and told to the saint, “I am sorry, I do not want to purchase your cloth” The saint smiled again and replied “Its Ok. No issues. As you wish”.

When the person left the place, the pupil asked surprisingly, “You know that he was a mischievous person and he was playing with you. But why you have not reacted? He has destroyed your hard-earned money” The saint smiled that there are two things, “First, he came here with one strong trust on me that I will not become angry in any situation”. “And I tried to build his trust stronger”. “And second, you told right that he destroyed my two weeks hardworking and I have nothing left for next two weeks as an earning. He destroyed my today, but actually, today, he destroyed his future by showing his upbringing.”

Trust can not be enjoyed alone. It is a bilateral relationship. There should always be two parties to start with. When you read in your text bok the friction between two stones can bring fire out from stone. Had you believed that? No, not at all, at least at first time. But when your subject teacher told you the same story, you trust him a little bit but not on the full story. But when you have seen first time by himself or herself, then only, you immediately trusted on the textbook, and the words told by your teacher. The reason is you experienced himself the same you read. so the Trust is calculative. Trust needs proof.

The main difference between faith and trust is that the trust is conditional and faith is unconditional.

You can have faith in GOD, but before starting an airplane journey, you try to get maximum information from all sources about the pilot, about his past experience in flying a Boeing Plane. especially the number of successful journies completed and reason for unsuccessful journies. Actually, you want to be more sure, that you have trust in him.

There are two major dimensions, in front of people before they make decisions on trust. Preconscious, where a person already made half decision with his own beliefs, or experiences or stories heard in childhood. So, in that case, fifty percent decision is already taken by his brain. 

Second is a conscious decision, means calculative and conditionals. It is a slow process. If the condition is agreed to calculation, only then trust starts, but as soon as one condition fails, the trust started shaking and started dropping very quickly.

Trust is built with consistency. Like drops coming in a bucket through tap can fillup bucket only after consuming one whole day, and if the bucket has one hole in it then, in that case, it can take up to one month, and sometimes even the feasibility would be it maybe or maybe not.

In today’s world, trust is used as one of the most valuable currencies among humans. Can you assume to build any relationship without this with anyone? Obviously not?.

Among every relationship, trust is working somewhere in between. People do business, just because of the trust factor. We get married, we pay online payments, we purchase some items, you pay to expensive services, etc..etc… just because of the trust factor.

Well, whatever you want to achieve in your life, don’ start with developing networking, start with building trust among your network. The network will automatically develop.

As earlier said, trust can not work with a single party, it needs two to make four. It takes a lot of time to build. The whole process of gaining trust starts with understanding first. If you do not know a person, how can you trust him?

But this is also the part of the process that a single wrong or unmatured action can ruin any relationship you’ve built over a period of time within seconds.

To understand this you need to understand human behavior.

  1. The human needs to be caring even if he does not want to care.
  2. All humans are internally wired for connection but they disconnected deliberately.
  3. All humans want to feel important.
  4. Most humans like the same things.
  5. Most humans want to trust the same things.
  6. Most humans don’t want to initiate, they prefer to wait.

These are some common behaviors, you can find more.

Every new trust-building process will convert existing trust into a strong belief.

Don’t trust me, trust yourself, believe in yourself only.

Thanks for reading, do send your reviews as usual.

Bye-bye, take care

Regards,

Neeraj Bhatia

neeraj.bhatia@aaradhyagroups.com

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